I found his speech so fascinating that I moved that tub of clotted cream closer, took a spoon and finished the whole tub while listening to it (he was having corn on the cob I offered him a minute earlier).
Non-fat butter. Vegan. Fuck me.
Fun things that I think should go well with non-fat butter:
- swimming in an empty pool
- being in a sexless marriage
- having a warm ice cream (vegan of course)
- enjoying a wild party of one alone
- fishing in a toilet bowl