topum (topum) wrote,

Non-fat vegan butter

We've got one of them extreme healthy living vegans in this batch. He just came to see me at our place, saw a tub of clotted cream on our table and started telling me how bad it was for my arteries (or something) and how "vegan non-fat butter is awesome".

I found his speech so fascinating that I moved that tub of clotted cream closer, took a spoon and finished the whole tub while listening to it (he was having corn on the cob I offered him a minute earlier).

Non-fat butter. Vegan. Fuck me.

Fun things that I think should go well with non-fat butter:

- swimming in an empty pool
- being in a sexless marriage
- having a warm ice cream (vegan of course)
- enjoying a wild party of one alone
- fishing in a toilet bowl
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