Helga and the kid had afternoon tea at our hotel and the kid loved it of course. They gave him a selection of those tiny cakes and pastries and asked him which ones he liked the most and adjusted the next selection based on that and so on. The French are sneaky and they won't have a problem using children in acts of war. Yes, you heard it right, I consider making the kid love Paris, which he does after this visit, an act of war and an attack on my family. After the parade, the world cup final and endless cookies from the Four Seasons staff he adores Paris. And we are going to Disneyland next.
I tried to explain to him that the afternoon tea is a very English thing that has nothing to do with Paris and that we are staying at a Canadian hotel named after a British king (Four Seasons George V) which is also located in the street named after that same Brtitish king but he isn't interested, he just jumps up and down and chants "Paris! Paris!". This is a horrific parental failure. I now have to make sure that he understands that Disney is an American thing that has nothing to do with Paris really. I am even considering lying to the kid that Paris Disney Land is actually in the US and that we are in the US while inside but Helga won't let me do that and will tell him the truth. I now need a sophisticated smear campaign against Paris to nip the kid's love for Paris in the bud. Because what the fuck is the point of Paris anyway? Many people tried to explain it to me but I could never get it.
Anyway, this is the gallery where they serve afternoon tea (which they stole from the English) at our hotel: