topum (topum) wrote,

Judging the book by its cover

Whenever I see a photo I always want to know what happened before and when it was taken and what was going through the photographer's and subjects' heads.

Take this book cover for example.

My take on what was going through the photographer's / cover designer's head:

"Wow, this guy is a pseudoscientific douche and a greedy quack I think....but I really need the money now and if I don't do this cover somebody else will do it anyway....I'll do it but I'll try to ensure that it reflects who I think this guy is and warns as many people as possible off buying it...yes, that would be not only OK but even responsible of me. Now how would I go about designing a repulsive cover that would tell people "this is probably a crook!" and keep as many as possible from buying it? Luckily, I don't have to work too hard on this here, just look at this guy, that face tells everything one needs to know."

- Sir, I have a great idea for the cover: we will put you on it, yes a big head shot of you smiling and just add a background of a beautiful (well kinda) colour. That's all. We really can't do better than your face, nobody can.

- Well, I suppose you are right, son. Yes, you are right of course. Great to see such a young man making so much sense. You lot are so difficult nowadays and so much into all that, you know, real science stuff, it is maddening. I need to sell them books, you know and that unhealthy obsession with real science really limits my market mostly just to the poor desperate folks who have little hope left and would try anything. And that's where I come in and ka-ching! High five!

- Sorry, I have torn my rotator cuff and I cannot raise my arm at all.

- Well, you are in luck, son because my new book is called "The Only Answer To Rotator Cuff Injury" and it is available nationwide for just 39.99. Because the Big Pharma, the Jews (I am not antisemitic btw, I have Jewish friends (they are greedy af and smell of garlic)), the Russians, etc have been lying to you and tried to keep everything from you but don't worry, I have uncovered it all and you can read it all in my book for just 39.99. Oh and you also get a healing bracelet made of super-healing nano-magnetised (science!) ancient crystals that suck the healing energy of the stars via the Earth's magnetic poles and direct it right were your body needs it (developed by me, suggested retail price 299.99).

And what was going through the author's head? "I am awesome, suckers" obviously.
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