topum (topum) wrote,

Call-out culture: the only way to win is not to play.

Originally posted by eyelid at Call-out culture: the only way to win is not to play.
Can we just admit already that "call-out culture" has officially been taken to a stupid, toxic extreme?

Case in point: fallout after the woman's marches. We have these huge fabulous energizing events, putting the right back on its heels. Making Trump all panicky. Filling everyone with fighting spirit.

Then of course, the radical left has to cannibalize them. The marches were horrible failures because OMG PINK HATS, which are clearly racist and transphobic! plus WHITE WOMEN attended the events, and some of those women probably had not attended other social justice events. And others had signs discussing their own genitalia, which of course implies that all women have the same genitalia! And also some white women voted for trump, which all white women should feel bad about because.... we are a monolithic group and we should have been able to mind control those women to vote the right way. Long story short, everyone at the marches was racist and transphobic and not committed to progressiveness and basically it was all horrible failure.

I cannot facepalm hard enough for this shit. No wonder trump is winning.

And it was entirely predictable, because the purpose of call-out culture isn't to advance anything. The purpose of call-out culture is... just more call-out culture. It's become its own ugly, bullying stereotype.

What do bullies do? They decide that some kids are cooler than other kids. And then they join up with their friends to attack the kids who are less cool. They force those kids to engage in humiliating acts to curry favor. Anyone who challenges the bullies, or points out that what they are doing is wrong, is ganged up on. No dissenting opinions are tolerated.

That's exactly what we have gotten in call-out culture. Here's how it works: in call-out culture, only the person who is least privileged is allowed to have an opinion or speak or have emotions that other people should respect and empathize with. These people get to be in the position of the bully. Therefore, before an opinion is considered, everyone engages in a pissing contest to determine who is least privileged. Everyone yells at each other, putting out competing categories (I'm a POC, well, I'm a POC who is also QUEER, well, I'm transgender and while I might look white you can't define me as white because I'm not) to see who is the winner. If there's something like a tie, the parties try to angle the argument to showcase their own oppression. ("You are trying to tell me it's not as hard being bisexual because I can pass, but that just shows your ass, you can't tell me about my own pain!" "Well, being queer means I can't pass at all, so don't even try to say you can understand what that is like!")

The person(s) who win in this get to be (as proceed to be, if they haven't been already) as nasty as humanly possible to everyone else. The "more privileged" people, meanwhile, have to just humbly take the abuse. They are literally not permitted to object to anything, no matter what is said to them. They are blamed for everything everyone else in their group has ever done; they are told they need to sit down, shut up, and just accept everything they are told; everything the "less privileged" person says is automatically right; if you object at all in any way, you have proven that you are racist, sexist, transphobic, homophobic, etc.

The bullying/attacking is justified, permitted, and encouraged as "expressing justified anger" and "refusing to be silenced." The more-privileged person is supposed to completely empathize with and accept any abuse because the abuser's emotions are valid and justified. Meanwhile, the more-privileged person is not permitted to express or have any negative feelings about this. Any such feelings are simply them being "uncomfortable with reality" and "not willing to face their own racism/sexism/phobias". They can't be upset if they are attacked unjustly because there is no such thing as an unjust attack. Like, if someone says to me "fuck all white women", that is totally okay because the anger is justified, but I am not allowed to be angry in response; no anger on my part is justified, no matter what is said to me.

But don't worry - white people/more privileged people in general aren't left out of the fun! They can compete by being The Best Ally. This is basically like being the woman who curries favor with men by saying loudly and constantly that she hates all women and only is friends with guys because women suck and are catty and dumb.

There are two main ways to do this!

The crusading way:
1) find something (the more ridiculous and irrelevant the better!) that you can somehow twist into perceiving as racist/sexist/phobic/whatever
2) go off on a ranting diatribe about it
3) blame everyone who is in a privileged group for it
4) accuse everyone in the privileged group of racism/sexism/phobic-ness; give no concrete steps to fix it; just end with "you are all bad and should feel bad."

Example: this bizarre article attacking people who wear the infamous Safety Pins

The amplifying way:
1) find some person in an unprivileged group saying something attacking people in a more-privileged group (the more ridiculous and irrelevant the better!).
2) "amplify" the attack by passing it along and proceeding to speak for the unprivileged person in your commentary.
3) Assume and state that ALL people in the unprivileged group feel the same way, and start arguing with anyone who will engage, speaking for the unprivileged group. (e.g., white woman: "See this article from an indigenous woman about how women at the march complimented indigenous women on their dresses!! It's disgusting!! POC have suffered for decades at the hands of white women. Susan B Anthony was racist! No wonder all POC hate the feminist movement! They are so right! White women need to own the fact that all white women are made of bullshit! Look at how this one white woman said a racist thing in a Wal-Mart!! QED!!")

(Obviously different people in any group are going to feel differently about things, but this tends not to be acknowledged. I have been in the amusing position of watching a white person who was attacking white people about blackface being taken down by a black anti-racist activist guy for it. That white person went on to attack the pink hats, which I saw many WOC wearing at marches, as racist and white-normative and transphobic. My FTM trans cousin later posted a thing saying that was harmful and ridiculous, but, you know. The trans community is monolithic, and all of them are incredibly offended by pink hats, I'm sure, because they have nothing more important to be upset about.)

Anyway. Bottom line: this is ridiculous bullshit. To coin a phrase: "A strange game. The only way to win is not to play."

Call-out culture is officially the bastion of assholes at this point, and I am done with it. I am a contrarian at heart. I have no desire to pile on and bully people; no desire to turn off my brain and accept whatever I'm told; no desire to engage in acts of self-humiliation; and certainly no desire whatsoever to sit around and be abused by jerks who think my skin color or sexual orientation gives them the right to do so.

If a person wants to discuss something with me, they can be fucking polite and respectful. I don't care how valid the person thinks their position is, or how angry s/he is about it. I don't care if their cause is handed down from G-d personally. If a person is rude, I am done talking.

I take abuse from no one. No one. Period.

And if they don't like it, oh well. I hear that nice people don't change anything. So I'm done being a doormat.
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