8:0

So I watched Denmark take on Moldova in the World Cup qualifier surrounded by Moldovans here today (we are in Moldova). I really stood out of the crowd. I am almost 6'8" and I was the only Dane in the sea of Moldovans. And yes, I wore the colours and had my Dannebrog at the top of my hat. I also was the only one screaming and punching the air in total silence every time Denmark scored. It started to get awkward around 5:0. In the end, Denmark thrashed Moldova 8:0 to top Group F. And I got a free beer from the bar staff.

No eclairs

Helga was going to make eclairs but I ate all of the cream (both chocolate and vanilla) she was going to use to fill them with a spoon. It is her fault. Once you started making eclairs, finish them in one go, and never leave your cream filling unattended. Everyone knows that.

Now because Helga screwed up, we are not having eclairs tonight. To be honest, I am kinda not in the mood for eclairs after I had two bowls of cream.

My beauty routine

Well, I never thought I would get to write a post about my "beauty routine", but I am sure you all are dying to know what it takes to sustain this kind of devastating handsomeness, so here it is.

Actually, we started talking about it after two dudes at the gym I am going to here now took out their "beauty bags" with what looked like 35 bottles and jars and started putting layers after layers of oily candy-smelling stuff on their faces, bodies and hair after the shower. The whole place smelled like someone was baking an apple and caramel tart in the make-up section of Selfridges and the rest of us felt like unwashed neanderthals.

When it comes to "beauty routines" my main consideration is minimizing the number of bottles I need to have. When I am traveling, I use whatever is there at the hotels, but at home, it is mostly this:

1. I use this shower gel. I use it to wash my hair as well:

https://www.moltonbrown.com/store/bath-body/bath-bodywash/re-charge-black-pepper-bath-shower-gel/NHB21037?tmsb=o9yd7bs&tmrl=1httfh4&tmsl=us-hybris-prod-feed-parent-category&tmty=w&tmcv=566&tmcs=c7t2m6m

I was once in Paris and my AirBnB did not have any shower gel in it so I walked into the first shop I could find and asked for this shower gel. They did have it, I bought it quickly and went back to the apartment to take a shower. It turned out later that it was the only shop in the whole of Paris that stocked Molton Brown. It was some kind of upmarket niche shop that specialized in weird and niche products, and because Molton Brown is so very British, it is considered "weird and niche" by the French of course and you cannot find it anywhere in Paris except this one shop and it was the first shop I happened to walk into.

2. I use this toothpaste:

https://www.weleda.com/product/s/salt-toothpaste

Actually, these days I use whatever Helga stocked up on and it is usually some "natural", "organic", "fair-trade", "everything-free" shit obviously but it is often this too.

3. Sometimes I get dry/red/peeling patches on my face. It does not happen very often, but when it does, I put this squalane on those patches and they go away:

https://russellorganics.com/products/squalane-oil

It is colorless and odorless and it gets fully absorbed almost instantly.

I do not shave, I trim using the closest-to-the-skin setting and I do not put any oily or sticky stuff on my skin anywhere or in my hair.

I also use deodorant and sometimes cologne. There is a bunch of them lying around and they change all the time, I usually buy them at the airports while waiting for the flights. I mostly buy those that are offered to me by hot shop assistants. The best a cologne can hope for is that I do not find it revolting, I do not like strong smells on people (a huge problem in Eastern Europe). I think I should only know how you smell if I fuck you.

That's it. I guess I am a beauty blogger and an influencer now. The Kardashians are done.

Can you beat my beauty routine, people?

Meghan Markle vs Royal Family

In a nutshell: I do not care. Meghan Markle is a waste of space. All European royal families are a waste of space. And I could not care less about either. That's pretty much it.

I mean they are not a total waste of space, they are people just like us but relative to the amount of resources and attention they demand, they are a total waste of both. So nah, zero fucks given.

CBD

There has been a lot of hype about CBD but it does nothing for me. I tried all kinds of stuff from CBD oil for gym injuries to just drinking the bloody oil. Different brands, including all of the most expensive ones. Tried megadosing too. Nothing at all. Not even a hint of anything. And there isn't really any proper science behind it either. I call bs. Thoughts, people?

Why?

Why haven't we cancelled Charlie Chaplin for his Hitler-like moustache yet? Or at least that moustache must be airbrushed away from all available footage and pictures of him (it will cost only 2 billion dollars). Pictures with that moustache still there must be banned from the internet as extremist materials promoting violence and making many people (mostly rich 18-year-olds at Brown University) feel "unsafe". What other proof do y'all need that we live in a very Nazi world? I am disgusted. If you are not disgusted, you are disgusting. If you are disgusted, please know that I am disgusted much more than you and I got disgusted before you, so sit down, please.

QAnon

I had dinner with two people who turned out to be big-time into QAnon. That was an experience. It was much worse than the dinner I had last week with the people who were so much into "mindfulness", they basically went insane.

I guess my life is going downhill and dinners with flat Earthers and pizzas with Pizzagaters must be just around the corner. Well, if that's what my destiny is, I hope that at least the food will be good.

Better than music videos

Whenever I need or want to listen to a song on youtube (which is very rare), I always check if there is a Victoria's Secret Show version first and if there is, I go for that. Music videos can rarely compete.


I think I remember watching an interview with the blond Swedish girl at 2:15 on Swedish TV where she was telling the interviewer that she was so high on coke at that time that she could not remember her name. I might be getting it wrong though.

Amen and Awoman

I am deeply offended by this "Amen and Awoman" stuff. Should have been "Awoman and Amen" (let alone that it should have been "AwomEn"). Cancel that congressman pastor, Americans. He is a sexist pig and obviously a Nazi. Ban him all over the internet for this violence. It's science.